1. Problem: Your child gets upset when given constructive criticism or suggestions.

2. Desired Outcome: Your child will understand how to accept age-appropriate constructive criticism. 

Talk with your child and your family about the desired outcome. Make your desired outcome specific for your child. Write down the goal / desired outcome. Post the outcome where it can be easily seen.

              Remember: If you don’t think ahead, your family won’t move forward.

3. Possible Actions: Read the possible actions below. Decide which ones would be most effective to use with your child. Focus on the outcome behavior.

*Establish family rules about behavior and the types of choices that children have when they receive constructive criticism. Help your child to understand how and when criticism can be constructive and positive.

*Assess your criticism to make sure it is really constructive and positive.  Evaluate the words that you are using with your child. Avoid using words which ridicule a child.

*Make sure you have a good attitude when giving your child constructive criticism.Are you delivering your criticism in a calm manner and with positive words?

*Make sure your child understands the definition of constructive criticism. Demonstrate and discuss appropriate ways to respond to constructive criticism.

Think about when i.e. time of day etc, when providing constructive criticism.*

*If your child becomes out of control, it can be helpful to remove your child from the family or sibling group until he/she can demonstrate self-control.

*Evaluate the activity or school work that your child is completing. Is the task appropriate for your child? Consider the difficulty level of the task.  Is it too easy or too difficult? Consider your child’s individual needs. Is the length of time scheduled for the task appropriate? Is your child over tired, hungry etc.?

How is your child feeling and reacting?

*Speak with your child to find out how your child is feeling. However, some children reject criticism by doing something inappropriate such as: yelling, making derogatory comments, crying, or even cursing. If your child is doing something inappropriate, let your child know what he/she is doing is inappropriate. Then explain what your child should be doing. You can explain that he/she has choices. Your child can: ask for help, ask for directions, or ask for help understanding etc.

*If you have another child who responds correctly in similar situations of constructive criticism. You can use their response as an example. Be careful not to compare children, but just to present the example action as a choice. 

*Make sure you praise your child when your child responds appropriately to constructive criticism.

4. Follow-up along the way:

Periodically review and reflect on your child’s progress. What is working? What is not working? Adjust your actions accordingly to meet the needs of your child. It’s important to recognize the attainment of a successful goal completed, however you will notice small achievements along the way. Recognize these smaller successes. It will encourage your child to keep trying and let your child know that he/she is on the right path. It will also motivate your child and make him/her more receptive when new goals are introduced. Share what is working at home with your child’s teacher.

If these actions do not work, talk to your child’s teacher. Let your teacher know what you have tried and your child’s reaction.  Ask for suggestions.  Sometimes children need more help. Take your child to your family doctor. Explain the problem, what you have tried, and the outcomes from your actions. Your family doctor and your child’s teacher has access to other services that may be helpful. 

Follow Up: What to do after you try your selected actions:

   If your actions were successful, keep using them. However, continue to monitor your child. You can use these actions as preventative measures if your child has a set back.

    If your child is unsuccessful, seek help from school your family doctor etc. Take your notes with you. Let those helping you know what you have tried and the results of your efforts. This record can go a long way to getting your child the help that he/she deserves.