- Problem: Your child throws temper tantrums when it’s time to do homework.
Before you begin do the following:
Observe your child. Be as specific as possible when naming the problem.
Take notes. Write down the problem. List everything that you try and the results of your effort.
- Desired Outcome:
Your child will understand how to do homework in an acceptable and age-appropriate manner without temper tantrums. Talk with your child and your family about the desired outcome. Make your desired outcome specific for your child. Write down the goal / desired outcome. Post the outcome where it can be easily seen. Remember: If you don’t think ahead, your family won’t move forward.
- Possible Actions:
Read the possible actions below. Decide which ones would be most effective to use with your child. Focus on the outcome behavior.
First, find ways to calm your child and calm people in the environment.
*Stay calm. It is important not to become upset. Children react to our emotions and you need to keep calm.
*You can take your child into another room or outside. Sometimes going into another environment can help distract your child from what is upsetting him/her.
*Hugging or holding young children can be very comforting. This can give your child a sense of safety and you will be able to talk to your child.
Talk to your child to help your child understand ways to calm down.
*Try deep breathing to get your child to calm down and or stop crying. Teach your child to take deep breaths to calm down. Breathe with your child. Doing deep-breathing with your child can be very effective. Talk to your child and give him/her directions as you breathe together.
Talk to your child when he/she is emotionally ready:
*When your child is calm, talk to your child to review why they had the tantrum and why the behavior is unacceptable. Provide your child with other ways to solve their problem and avert a temper tantrum.
*Try to reduce stress in your child’s life by using these strategies: Set up a healthy routine including an age-appropriate bedtime. Stick to the family routine. Children who are hungry or over tired are more prone to temper tantrums. Make sure your child is eating healthy and at regular scheduled times.
*Maintain your child’s health by getting a regular health checkup yearly. Talk to your family doctor about your child’s temper tantrums. Your family doctor may suggest additional visits. Also remember vision and dental checkups. Dental and vision problems could also be upsetting your child.
*Don’t give in and give your child something that they are demanding during a temper tantrum. If you do, you may be rewarding bad behavior by teaching your child that having temper tantrums is the way to get what you want.
*Reward good choices as your child makes them in the future. Praise your child for making the choices. Praise your child for not having a temper tantrum.
Follow-up along the way:
Periodically review and reflect on your child’s progress. What is working? What is not working? Adjust your actions accordingly to meet the needs of your child. It’s important to recognize the attainment of a successful goal completed, however you will notice small achievements along the way. Recognize these smaller successes. It will encourage your child to keep trying and let your child know that he/she is on the right path. It will also motivate your child and make him/her more receptive when new goals are introduced.
Follow Up: What to do after you try your selected actions:
If your actions were successful, keep using them. However, continue to monitor your child. You can use these actions as preventative measures if your child has a set back.
If your child is unsuccessful, seek help from school your family doctor etc. Take your notes with you. Let those helping you know what you have tried and the results of your efforts. This record can go a long way to getting your child the help that he/she deserves.
For additional information about motivational problems and solutions, go here.