1. Problem: Your child avoids responsibility.

Before you begin, do the following:

Observe your child. Be as specific as possible when naming the problem. 

Take notes. Write down the problem. List everything that you try and the results of your effort.

2. First, Create Your Desired Outcome:

Your child will accept responsibility. Talk with your child and your family about the desired outcome.  Make your desired outcome specific for your child. Write down the goal / desired outcome. Post the outcome where it can be easily seen.

              Remember: If you don’t think ahead, your family won’t move forward.

3. Next, Select Possible Actions: Read the possible actions below. Decide which ones would be most effective to use with your child. Focus on the outcome behavior.

*Another key point is to start by talking to your child to find out why they are not taking responsibility. For example, does your child create excuses to blame others or blame their materials? If so, make sure your child’s materials are appropriate for the task and that they are in good working condition.

*Next, establish family homework rules for time and place.

*In another case, it’s important to provide your child with a schedule of daily events in order that he/she may plan his/her time.

*For example, encourage older children to begin assignments early in order to have time to deal with problems that may occur.

Encourage Younger  Children:

*For younger children, begin home study times with the easiest assignment. This can build confidence and start your child on a positive footing.

*Most importantly, provide your child with a quiet place to work. Quiet places can reduce distracting stimuli. To clarify, this is not to be viewed as a punishment but as a special place just for your child.

*Make sure that your child clearly understands all instructions and that your expectations are clearly stated.

*You may want to consider reducing any emphasis on study or learning competition with siblings or friends. Sometimes repeated failure in competition may result in a child blaming someone or the materials they have for his/her own failure.

Structure Your Child’s Surroundings:

*Begin by assessing your child’s surroundings. Make sure the environment is structured to reduce interference by other siblings etc. This will remove a potential opportunity for your child to blame others.

*It’s equally important to reinforce your child each time any responsibility is accepted by recognizing your child with positive comments. This positive reinforcement can be transferred to responsible learning situations.

4. Follow-up along the way: Periodically review and reflect on your child’s progress. What is working? What is not working? Adjust your actions accordingly to meet the needs of your child. It’s important to recognize the attainment of a successful goal completed. However, you will notice small achievements along the way.  Another important point is to recognize these smaller successes. It will encourage your child to keep trying and let your child know that he/she is on the right path. It will also motivate your child and make him/her more receptive when new goals are introduced. 

Follow Up: What to do after you try your selected actions:

   If your actions were successful, keep using them. However, continue to monitor your child. You can use these actions as preventative measures if your child has a setback.

    However, if your child is unsuccessful, seek help from your child’s school, your family doctor, etc. Take your notes with you. Let those helping you know what you have tried and the results of your efforts. This record can go a long way to getting your child the help that he/she deserve